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Obediently-Otsoko

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Artist // Hobbyist // Varied
  • Dec 27
  • United States
  • Deviant for 8 years
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My Bio

This is the tale of a once-was MMD creator. I found MMD in 2009. I was immediately attracted to the physics. I eventually found out PMX editor was a thing, and that it all was modifiable. I spent months making edits, changing values. Eventually figuring out basic rigging, bone creation. All the while, learning blender, but continuing forth with PMX editor. All I pretty much did was physics, as it was my favorite thing to study. I fell in love with MMD's physics. It was very customizable, modular, and you could hand-craft any type you wanted. I toiled away at it for months. Years. Posting videos of my physics edits to youtube. Garnering no views, no attention. But it was fine, because I loved doing it. I genuinely was happy with my work because it was something

I took interest in doing and enjoyed making, even if no one saw it. Until one day when it blew up. One video eventually started spreading like fire. Within a few weeks, my channel was over the thousands in subscribers. Tens of thousands of views on my videos. I didn't know what to do. I'd never had popularity before. I was an anti-social, anxious kid. Still am anxious and anti-social even today. So I kept posting. Rode the wave of popularity, and arguably let it get to my head. I gained an ego, and, as you might expect from someone with an ego, the things I disliked became a target. I would then attempt to wield that popularity and power to target smaller (or sometimes even more popular) creators that made the stereotypical "cringe" content. Fandom cringe, "bleeding eyes" model edits, awful illegal copy-paste TDA edits, and so on. My methods were toxic, though my message and intent was pure. I wanted to influence or change the way the MMD community saw these things. Rather than sit and wallow in contentment with these things, why not change and expect more? Why not step up as a content creator and do better? Why sit at such a point and not improve? It was baffling to me that these people didn't want to improve, and instead keep dishing out the same things over and over. Copy and paste. Body swap. Head swap. Cheap photoshop edit. Slap stolen game assets onto your illegal TDA edit, that you call your own original work. Why? I could never understand it, and so, through my wave of popularity, I attempted to influence the community. To wake them up, so to speak, to this glaring issue. Even most content creators that I judged and threw harsh words at, understood my intent. They would respond with a "yes, it is low-effort, and I can do better if I tried" And yet, would still continue to put out low-effort content. Eventually, the whole "raid on bad MMD content" would die down and

I would remove posts and give up on the entire thing due to backlash. It was an exhausting effort that wasn't worth the time, sacrifice or suffering required. I could see people didn't want to change. They didn't want to try to be better. They didn't want to try to improve or go anywhere with their work. They would continue putting out the same level of content they always have. And so, the battle was over. I kept posting physics edits, I would normally pick via poll on youtube. There was a lot of effort that went into making them. I would first research dozens of model creators, ones that I felt made great models that deserved some sort of spotlight, so people would download/use something other than TDA. Then it was making sure the licenses and rules fit my intentions of editing/showcasing. After that, post the list in a poll on youtube and pick whichever one people seemed to want most. Then it was off to making it. From scratch: bones, bone names, bone groups, rigging, physics, joints. I'd even begun porting my works to blender to do custom BDEF-4 rigging, then backporting to MMD. It was this outside-the-box thinking that put my content on a higher level than anyone else's. People that didn't inherently study blender and physics alongside MMD was at a disadvantage. Their work wouldn't match up to the quality standard my work set forth. And thus, was one of the main reasons my edits even starting spreading on youtube that one day. Tests, tests, tests. A standard physics edit from me goes through about 6-8 phases of in-program testing before finalization. Multiple stress tests are conducted to ensure quality, from a majority of possible scenarios. This is another layer of effort, care and passion that went into my edits and work that put my content above others in terms of quality. Though, it wasn't about being above others anymore. It never was, that was just what my inflated ego told me. So, one day, my PC dies. It was my hard drive, it had failed. And so, naturally, after a bunch of troubleshooting, all hope is lost. I'd have to replace it, and my family was struggling financially. It would be a while before a replacement was possible. Pretty bad timing considering I was working on a big upcoming project. I figured I'd post on my youtube and let everyone know my PC is out of order. I won't make content for an undetermined amount of time and I apologize for the wait. This is, however, where I started to see that these people, more importantly, this "community" wasn't exactly what I thought it was originally. Instead of standard reaction posts like "That's okay, take your time!" or "Hopefully you can get it replaced soon!" I was bombarded with an assortment of posts mostly retaining to a similar insult; "Stop e-begging and get a fucking job" or "No one cares, and no one is going to give you money, go get a job and stop complaining" There were, of course, kind posts from a small handful of actual followers who cared about me as a fellow human being. But they were drowned out by the sheer wave of negativity that ensued from a simple notification post regarding workflow interruption due to hardware failure. This kind of abhorrent, childish behavior is what drove me from creating content any further. I blocked the accounts and privated 90% of my content. I wasn't upset, just bothered by the reaction to something so simple. And so, I stopped. I stopped feeding a community precious work they ate up. Work they would hate on if it wasn't to their tastes. From a person who they despised, but tolerated due to the quality of their work. I wasn't going to play pretend for this abysmal excuse for a community any longer. I was done. They don't deserve it. If they don't like me for me, they don't deserve anything I make. And so, a hobby that I genuinely enjoyed and was good at, died from an abhorrent, abysmal excuse for a community that disliked and hated anything I made that wasn't to their liking. If it was anything other than a vocaloid edit, I was hated for it, when normally it was the opposite reaction, for the rest of the community's content creators, posting nothing but low-effort edgy fandom garbage. We're all free to do as we please with our skills, hobbies, talents and interests. People usually draw the line when it begins hurting others. You could argue and say that my ego wave built up karma for later, and I got what I deserved. But look at the community now. It's at least somewhat better than it used to be.


TDA isn't spammed 20000 times a day. YYB began being used more often by popular youtubers when I stepped down. More diverse model types began popping up in popular videos. And cringe like effects spam, excessive fandom models and other low-effort things began seeping away. You can say all you want as to how toxic my approach was, and yes, it was. But there is no gain without sacrifice. And if it meant the community would improve, diversify their interests and broaden their horizons in terms of content creation, then no sacrifice was too great to me. I'd step away from physics again if I had to, if it meant inspiring change. I only wish I went about doing so in a better way initially. Though, we all do dumb stuff when we're kids, right?

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